I have accepted the position offered to me in another state. The next few weeks I'll be preparing to move. There are circumstances surrounding this move that feel very unstable to me.
In part, my feelings of overwhelming unease are because of the young ones who depend on me to provide their most basic needs. Also, these circumstances are beyond my control. I can't change them from tipping in one direction or another.
The best I can do is have a back-up plan. To prepare for the worst. A friend of mine would argue that I am a fatalist...and maybe I am. I have seen the shoe drop. I know what it's like to be hungry and not have a home for my children...
At this point in my life, I realize that change is going to happen. I was never going to stay where I am permanently. I'm afraid of making the wrong decision and paying dearly for it. I have chosen to roll the dice and play the game. I'm hoping I can trust the people I am counting on. The end result could mean a big step up for us overall. I am just as excited as I am terrified.
Tuesday, January 9, 2018
Monday, January 1, 2018
New Year Possiblitlities
I don't set "New Year Resolutions." I do have goals though, and there is something about hanging a brand new (completely empty) calendar that inspires a moment of reflection.
What will I fill this calendar with? I'll start with birthdays that I want to remember (staff and coworkers mostly). I'll add in special days for my boys. We will join a water park again this year, I'm looking forward to a summer of outdoor adventures together. We'll do great things for their birthdays, (we have a sweet 16th coming up!)
I've come to a fork in the road with my career. Will I relocate, again? Or maybe return to school this year? I need to decide very soon...
What needs to happen to position myself better financially for my boys this year? I'll continue working on being debt free; whittling down my bills each month. I'd like to increase my savings and have been very self controlled in my expenses.
I've been working very hard towards fitness goals, I will definitely keep my calendar full of group classes and weight lifting. I'm so close to reaching my ideal size/form...will I get there by summer?
I think more importantly, as I look at this blank calendar and think of all the possibilities, I am charged with the thought that I have to DO THINGS! It's not enough to write them down on these pages. When I get to the end of this year, I will have had to press forward even when it wasn't easy.
I'm scared to death but so excited I can hardly stand it. I don't imagine I'll get through the year without some kind of setback or loss, I'm a realist. But I do believe this year is going to be amazing for me. I feel uncharacteristically optimistic. I am tapping into some great achievements for myself and I can't wait to see where they lead.
What will I fill this calendar with? I'll start with birthdays that I want to remember (staff and coworkers mostly). I'll add in special days for my boys. We will join a water park again this year, I'm looking forward to a summer of outdoor adventures together. We'll do great things for their birthdays, (we have a sweet 16th coming up!)
I've come to a fork in the road with my career. Will I relocate, again? Or maybe return to school this year? I need to decide very soon...
What needs to happen to position myself better financially for my boys this year? I'll continue working on being debt free; whittling down my bills each month. I'd like to increase my savings and have been very self controlled in my expenses.
I've been working very hard towards fitness goals, I will definitely keep my calendar full of group classes and weight lifting. I'm so close to reaching my ideal size/form...will I get there by summer?
I think more importantly, as I look at this blank calendar and think of all the possibilities, I am charged with the thought that I have to DO THINGS! It's not enough to write them down on these pages. When I get to the end of this year, I will have had to press forward even when it wasn't easy.
I'm scared to death but so excited I can hardly stand it. I don't imagine I'll get through the year without some kind of setback or loss, I'm a realist. But I do believe this year is going to be amazing for me. I feel uncharacteristically optimistic. I am tapping into some great achievements for myself and I can't wait to see where they lead.
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