I have accepted the position offered to me in another state. The next few weeks I'll be preparing to move. There are circumstances surrounding this move that feel very unstable to me.
In part, my feelings of overwhelming unease are because of the young ones who depend on me to provide their most basic needs. Also, these circumstances are beyond my control. I can't change them from tipping in one direction or another.
The best I can do is have a back-up plan. To prepare for the worst. A friend of mine would argue that I am a fatalist...and maybe I am. I have seen the shoe drop. I know what it's like to be hungry and not have a home for my children...
At this point in my life, I realize that change is going to happen. I was never going to stay where I am permanently. I'm afraid of making the wrong decision and paying dearly for it. I have chosen to roll the dice and play the game. I'm hoping I can trust the people I am counting on. The end result could mean a big step up for us overall. I am just as excited as I am terrified.
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